Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
