I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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