if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
