You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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