My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
