I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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