im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
