Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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