Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
seriously i just wanna be friends
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i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
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Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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