The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
