think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
