Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
