Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
