I hope mine doesn't look like that
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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