your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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