Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Randomize
