I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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