Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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