I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I stole a fireplace last night.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
