i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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