All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
