she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
i now understand why vodka
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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