i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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