I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
