I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
