Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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