32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
