margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
