Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
FUCK WHALES
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