I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i drank out of a bidet.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
