Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
