Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
