just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ttyl tear gas
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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