I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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