Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize