It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
