What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize