You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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