just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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