I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
