Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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