I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I look better un-naked...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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