So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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