Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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