Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
