so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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