you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
