She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
