I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
