Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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