I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Less talking, more tequila
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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