i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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