Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
