i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
