No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
