I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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