i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
