He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
