I can tuck mytits in my pants
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
