And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
