I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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