Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
