There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
