When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize