Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize