yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
