Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
