Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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